Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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