You really coming over, don't trick.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
