so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he shaved USA in his pubs
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
