Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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