I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
