That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
