Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
we're making bets on your personal life
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
