im having a threesome with these popsicles
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
