She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Four minutes until I can fart!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
