I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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