So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
