Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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