He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
