Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize