i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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