Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
