Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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