i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
