She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
