I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
