it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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