hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
