i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Actions speak louder than pants.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize