Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
