he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
