glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
