he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
