Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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