yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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