grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
