So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
