Whoa Z and x make the same sound
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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