Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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