tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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