So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
