Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
