Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
