You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
