i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
