with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize