He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
