so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
