you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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