Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
