He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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