This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I want to be your penis for a week.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
