I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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