I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
