She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
