make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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