just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
