Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
