thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
