So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
