Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
