So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
