You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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