rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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