come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
