It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
