We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
