We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
