I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize