he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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