Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
